Friendship Ladder

If a friend tells you something about a friend, how do you determine if you can tell the other person about it? For some people, they don't even have to think about it. Secrets are secrets and one should keep the secret.

I've tripped on this issue over and over and over again in the past and so I've realized that I've been so arbitrary in deciding. One solution would be to create a friendship ladder (as Mariel's friend calls it), wherein you rank your friends.

But then, the issue of how you determine the "value" of each friend comes in. Also, how do you let people know that they are lower than this person in the ladder so anything they say about that person would reach that other person? It all sounds iffy and therefore my arbitrariness (if there's such a word).

Because for me, a secret is not always a secret: it could be a gossip that affects other people. I have no issues with personal secrets like for example, having had a crush on someone. Telling that to other people is just a no-no for me.

It's just funny how I made this whole story of having a crush on someone. I tried to be consistent when people ask and somehow individually those people I told eventually informed the person. I came up with the crush stop so I could stay away from her suffocating me and at the same time not make her feel bad about herself. But if I were a better friend, I should have told her up front why I didn't want to be friends with her anymore.